Découpage
Midges drift above the park
Like the rental boats
Skimming on the summer dark
As the liquid evening floats,
Insects settling on the foam
Of the café’s humid beer,
Beneath the rippling dome
Of the sunset’s chandelier,
Pasted crudely on the bronze
Where even air is dipped,
Glued and lacquered on the ponds
Through which the sky is dripped,
The city filtered through seines
Of waves that shimmer in the heat,
Wet gauze which strains
Evening’s simmering concrete.
Here a clumsy amateur
Has made a quick collage,
And cut into a pasted blur
The park’s pastel barrage,
Where a razor’s careless blade
Sets tables cropped by lake
On the out-of-focus shade
(A photographer’s mistake),
Topiary scissored from an ad
In the lantern’s Magritte glimmer,
Cutout holly clipped and sad,
Fading cypress even dimmer:
A découpage for dummies,
The French edition of the spring,
A softer version of the breeze
That summers back home bring,
Another version of our youth
On its dusty urban beach,
The shallow prepubescent truth
For which old masters reach,
Just as much a patched-up page—
The memories we wish we had
From that distant age
Where history was just a fad,
A montage of random sands
Sunscreened by an ideal past,
A layout made of crops and scans
That come out colorfast,
Where the pigments never run,
The clouds are picture-perfect shots,
The oceans are well done,
And the flowerbeds have plots,
Unlike these sultry forgeries
Where not even smell is real,
Overlaid with shrubbery’s
Vaguely foreign feel—
And yet people summer too
In the beech-lined Tuileries,
Whose rustling copses ring as true
As any California trees—
In any case now long since gone
From the axe or from disease:
Just as our lamented lawn
No longer hums with bees.
In fact, ancient bees are here,
In convincingly nostalgic flocks,
Old-fashioned but sincere,
A buzzing vernal equinox
Around the stippled yews
Whose dangling silvered ramparts
Screen a pixelated wood whose
Art lies in concealing all its arts,
Their undulating tapestries
Touched by fire nonetheless,
Crowns flapping in the breeze
With summer’s sweltering excess
Like the flying flags in a Dufy,
The incandescent metaphors
Of the pinstriped Poussin sea
Swept with candied semaphores.
We feel comfortable, half a world away,
Because a painter summarized the day,
Because Minelli filmed the trees
And Delerue composed the breeze,
Translations into fluent French
Of our dogwoods, elms and oaks,
Where a larch becomes a city bench
And an ash becomes a hoax,
Such reveries bare equivalents of
A hometown beach, a summer love,
Telling us to exactly whom
We owe this brooding sense of doom,
Because, despite felicities of paint,
Something deeper seems to taint
These picture-perfect afternoons,
Gardens overgrowing ruins,
Looking for forget-me-nots
In a messy drawer of shots,
Solarized from memories,
Making up the past from trees
That bend around the sky just right,
That emulate the high school night,
Or duplicate the air when we
Unearthed our immortality,
Now reduced to second-hand
Simulations in a foolish land—
How awful that we might
Derive our souvenirs from simple sight,
From these fraudulent tableaux,
Real enough to a Corot:
But that languid brackish blue,
And its limpid Lorrain residue,
Doesn’t work with car exhaust,
The atom bomb, the holocaust,
Or with Seurat bureaucrats
Wearing worn straw hats,
An ancient, bitter, ageing race
Scared to look a mirror in the face,
A nation in analysis
Among the Poussin and the palaces,
As if a painting could replace
Gas lamps and homegrown roots,
Or a cowhide leather suitcase
Supplant a forest’s nodes and shoots.
So why is summer still so strange,
Like a cut-out on a page,
A wrenching barometric change
From the palm tree’s native gauge?
Because the scene is incomplete,
Without its buckets and its pails
As a substitute for heat
When transformation fails
And beaches mutate into hedges,
Children scuffing two-tone shoes
Chasing the receding edges
Of their running shadow’s hues,
Supplanting dunes with topiary,
Blinding sea with city stone,
The statuesque with statuary,
Ions with cologne,
A swirl of wind for the heave
In a palm tree’s drunken sway,
For the evenings no one would leave,
For where our childhoods stay,
Where the topaz sky is filled
With planes that fly by rubber band,
And all our hopes are spilled
In a shovelful of sand,
By afternoons of ocean mist
Which no city can erase,
By dragon coaster rides I missed
And which now nothing can replace—
Not shaded lanes that linden trees
Summon up when they set,
Dry and windswept arteries
Where loveless lips are wet,
Or the tideless gravel calm
Where the highway sails in front
Of a transplanted waving palm,
Pasting headlights on a punt,
Torches bleeding through a lamp
So past and present dimly meet
In the night air’s growing damp,
Like breakers on a rolling street?
My worlds are stained and mounted
In the orange dye of time,
As if what really counted
Wasn’t meaning, but the rhyme:
Past and future, all I know
Is that neither one is present
In the current indigo
Around the French moon’s crescent;
All things turn to memory,
And this blue will look as real
As seas seemed summery—
Assuming that we really feel
Anything as vital as a look,
That time would stamp its searing face
As easily as it later took
Away our adolescent grace—
But still the antique sunset clamps
Its drifting liquid light
Around the science fiction lamps
Burning through our fading sight,
The way that films of sunspots teem
When we close our eyes and stare
Closely at the sudden dream
Of phantoms in the air,
Where the neurons’ frenzied neon draws
The eyes’ subconscious scene
In wild distorted throbbing claws
With lightning in between,
The world transfigured with a wink,
The way that artists cut and glue
Scraps into a missing link
So the exposé seems true,
As paper layers juxtapose
People in the dancing heat,
In the distance nose to nose
Although up close they never meet—
And yet, like photos overlapped,
The borders are too rough;
The edges aren’t exactly apt:
They’re close, but never close enough,
The way that shadows run from feet
Born from shapes now far away:
The simple patterns don’t repeat,
Simply, like a summer day,
But like an object and its shade,
So our colors likewise need
To copy those already made;
To xerox that initial seed
Which we think we sow
When we brush and touch,
Frozen for all time although
What follows matters just as much—
So love’s reduced to just one name,
An act that’s hard to follow,
Whose repetitions are the same,
Words increasingly grown hollow:
And sitting in a Paris park,
We start again from scratch,
Like schoolboys in the perfect dark,
Looking for a timeless match
Between our past and present loves,
Between our pop-up childhood lives
And these indifferent cooing doves;
Between the careless moonlit drives
And these geometric walks
Of endless phosphorescent white,
Where empty foreign summer stalks
The powdered lamplit streets of night,
Where a strange new summer burns
To solve the history of sun,
As childhood weakens and turns
Into something we’ve never done.
Explanation
I was in Paris, where we had gotten an apartment, and I was feeling that strangification, that dislocation of another culture, that friendless sense of not having a cadre, a frame, a setting, a familiar background which we all use to define ourselves. Such as friends.
I have a theory that so much American writing happened in Paris because a change of country necessitates backtracking, emotional bookkeeping, to remember who we thought we were. Suddenly we realize that much of our sense of individuality has nothing to do with us, but in fact is just cultural baggage, is supplied by a lifetime of similar summers, of comfortingly cliché’d resorts, of cozy repetition: the same people, the same sandwiches, and within this framework we convince ourselves that we have invented it all.
Nostalgia is thus only a catalogue of superficialities which we use to define ourselves. In the end, we are special because we have a BMW. Another country lacks that BMW, and so it lacks our prefabricated personality. In trying to discover who we then might be, we often just replace the artifacts of the old country with new symbols, with the Tuileries, with a new collage of shimmers and summers, proud of ourselves for having noticed where we are, but devastated not to be where we were. We are creatures of the shallows.
So this is the exploration of that sadness, which is maybe the sadness which springs from the recognition that we have borrowed ourselves from a movie set, and that we are a combination of Troy Donoghue and Fabien in an Annette Funicello film, or that our sense of Europe is only memories derived from Fellini films or hokey Gene Kelly versions of Paris, made entirely in Hollywood, with a shot of the Eiffel Tower thrown in for authenticity. So even our sense of why we are in Europe is based on cultural myths, and the reality shocks us, that we are not surrounded by dancing gamines, that the struggling artists are only hacks intent on duping tourists, that even Paris has become partly a lie invented as a response to Hollywood’s lie, rather like the origin of the word “canard.”
One duck, or canard, ate every other duck in the barnyard. I always think this must have been in Burgundy, the home of foie gras, of stuffing animals to enhance their livers. A Paris paper reported the story as truth, and eventually it was picked up by American papers. The French then read about it in the foreign press, and believed it had happened after all.
So reality is a game of mirrors. I’m not sure there is such a thing as an essence behind those Platonic shadows, but this poem was an attempt to see if I could find in myself any sense of independent being, apart from my surroundings.
Many writers have a strong sense of place. Hamlet is in many ways defined by Elsinore, as is Titus Groan by Gormenghast, and Scarlett O’Hara by Tara. I suppose the above examples all outgrow their locations finally. Wallace Stevens had to put palm trees behind him to come into himself. As Eliot said, we have to watch out “till human voices wake us and we drown.” The world is too much with us.
The background in the Tuileries park next to the Louvre in Paris was smoky with slanting late afternoon golden sun, making the foreground look like it was pasted on in a bad collage, out of sync with its background. Not only was space out of joint, but time as well. We want every summer to be like the first one, the way we order the same thing every time in a restaurant. Time is rarely so obliging, so that the attempt to imitate our first kiss over and over, or to repeat the romance of that first summer by the shore, no matter how tawdry in reality, is what drives us to repeat out lives, our patterns of amorous behavior, and which also drives us to want to preserve in a poem the jet lag between ideal and current summers, the décalage horaire, the collapsed, lapsed, gaping collage of simultaneous skewered dimensions, the montage of syncopated time frames.
Our summers go through drafts, like poems, in which every draft is contained in each poem and all the old summers are contained in each new summer. Over a summer in Paris, this poem went through 15 drafts, and my thoughts evolved. Cathy included a few of my lines in her collages that summer, which involved enlarged and painted photos, taken at Fontainebleau and in the gardens of the Invalides in Paris.
The poet is the defective god of collage here, pasting together images badly to try to make a coherent statement, and of course it is from these croppings, these missing links (with all their implicit spuriousness), that meanings rise from metaphors, as electrons change energy levels within atoms and thus change, by jumps of logic, the physical reality of an entity.
Our need for nostalgic summers colors our current summers, a nostalgia that must be risen above in order for new experiences to equal the old ones, for new loves to replace past loves, for summer in Paris to seem as valid as summer in Santa Monica, Cape Cod, or wherever our sense of summer originates. We want nothing so much as for our past to be embodied in our future.
Summer itself is only an easy metaphor for the way the present becomes both a memory and an expectation, stuck as we are at the fulcrum of time, with occasional glimpses of life on the other side of the eyelid.